Author Topic: Groaners  (Read 2098 times)

Offline Mike

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« on: February 11, 2010, 11:08:27 AM »
Why does Cupid represent Valentine's Day? When you think about romance the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at you with a weapon!

I used to want to be a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out.

I knew someone once who was a monorail enthusiast. He had a one track mind.

My biologist friend tells me that constantly developing new varieties of plant can be a strain.

Our local Catholic church has plans to bring their parishioners to services by bus. They plan to call it mass transit.

I had a nightmare that I was in Panama during a snowstorm. I was dreaming of a white isthmus.

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

A man walks into a hardware store and asks if they have a tool for breaking up some hard ground. The shop assistant points to a row of suitable tools along the wall and replies: "Certainly sir, take your pick."

A woman went to France on a wine-tasting vacation. Unfortunately, while in the capital city, she drank too much, fell from her hotel window and ended up in a body cast. When she got home, she swore never to get plastered in Paris again.

People who live beyond their means should act their wage.

The accountant quit his job and joined a commune. He was a member of the counter-culture.

I had a very nervous guitar playing friend. He was always fretting about something.

He ate wheat even though he was allergic to it, because he was a gluten for punishment.

Q: Why do people become bakers?
A: Because they knead the dough!

A hunter aimed and shot at an unsuspecting mallard. Fortunately, just as the bullet came near the bird, it ducked.

Q: What kind of aftershave do genetic scientists wear?
A: Eau de clone.